SOVIETTT

Im a slacker, and im my slacker time, i write terrible soviet jokes. Heres a sample:


In Soviet Russia, whore pays you!!

In Soviet Russia, slope finds you!!!

In Soviet Russia, baby sits on you!!


Happy coldest week of The year

Metaphorical Bathroom

In English, the world decided to make me explode by axeing me to write 10 metaphors about life, but ALAS, i did it! heres the final product, and yes, i realize there are contradicting metaphors (sounds like a cool band)






1. The world is a river, and all the people are simply fish. Fish of different colors, swimming their own way, against the current, with the current.
2. The world is a game of chess, some men are pawns, some men are bishops, and some men are the tiles, stepped on, ignored, but a vital part of the game.
3. Life is a video game, there are stages, battles, winning and losing, but in the end, you wonder what you spent all that time doing.
4. Death is Valentines day, its celebrated, dreaded, and when it comes around, you either don’t want it to end, or you can’t wait to get over it
5. High School is a preschooler, it won’t leave you alone, it’s short, it wont let you relax, but there are parts you will miss when it’s all over.
6. Friendship is a Rolex bought off the street; it only works if its real and you feel terrible when it breaks.
7. Life is a Health class, it’s annoying, difficult, boring, but you find you learned something when it’s all over.
8. Society is a keyboard, all keys, each different, having different functions but all together great beauty and disaster.
9. Love is Saddam Hussein, you spend so long searching for it, but when its found, it isn’t long before its dead.
10. Birth is like going to the bathroom, you don’t want to talk about it cause its disgusting, but yet a vital part of who you are.




And by the wayer, my laptop is now officially named Abu. And today Abu decided he wont open one of my emails, so i had to Bi*tch slap Abu!!!

PAX ROMANA

I FOUNDDDDD ITTTT

THE KEY, THE KEY TO ETERNAL HAPPINESSS

The key to eternal happiness is to eliminate the point


IVE DONE IT

AHAHAHAHAH IM DONE

Alix's Various Vocabulary

New post idea.

For those of you who know me, i say a bunch of weird phrases and words. it keeps my material fresh and hot and.... tasty. So every so often, ill post an Alix Word/Phrase (IN GREEN)


Today's Word/Phrase: Instead of saying, "Good job" or "Im proud of you" tell someone

"You did good child, I shall sacrifice a gibbon in your name"

Shhhhhh. I think we scared him

THE TEMPTATION AND CURRUPTION OF WILlIAM BLAKE

So for the month of January, I have been at two separate play rehearsals for two plays im sure only a handful of people know about (hehe, you should picture a handful of people.) One is called Museum by Tina Howe, and the other is called Fidgety Fairy Tales: a Mental Health Musical. I chose to talk about this cause they both have some pretty cool, and sometimes meaningful quotes.

Museum

The play is about a musuem and its last day of an important art show. It's a comedy and barely apropriate for children (partly for the Gaurd's line "I've caught men exposing their genitals in this room") I play the Gaurd (sounds lame, but theres ALOT of lines) When spending 5 months looking over the script and reviewing the characters, you tend to find more than the writer may have intended. At first glance, its a comedy, like SNL or The Office. But i found it to mean alot more:

- The world is alot more fun and interesting than we hear and see within ourselves. Meaning, if you sat on a bench in a museum and observed the people, overhearing their conversations, you may just be entertained.

- "The art of human experience... Find it"

- I kinda began to see through this script that people (and artists) are wierd. But thats what makes them cool

- There's a gazilliono things about everyone that can be found. you can write a novel about EVERYONE, you just have to sit down, and learn.

Fidgety Fairy Tales

This production is COMPLETELY different than Museum. Its a musical about Little Red Riding Hood, Sleeping Handsome (knock off of sleeping beauty) and Rapunzel, and the hidden side of the stories. For instance, Little Red had ADHD and got distracted on the way to her grannys. Sleeping Handsome had depression, and he just wanted to fall asleep forever (take that anyway you want. Is it symbolism for death? Or simply an example of how depressed people sleep alot) and Rapunzel had Anxiety, being afraid of open spaces, stairs, and being made fun of. The show has a mission to travel to schools and educate people about these mental disorders, but I have come to see that its more than just some lame group of people that come to your school to talk. The show has some great lines, catchy tunes, and some interesting plot twists. It was written just last year and i am in the second cast to perform it. I play princeton (the prince who saves Rapunzel) and the Granny (oh yes, thats enough for you to want to go see it)Some interesting parts and lines:

- the audience gets a glance into the mind of people with such mental disorders, and i think people will begin to see the truth about what depression, anxiety, and ADHD really are about.

- Features such songs as "Sit still " a song where little red's family are struggling to maintain the little girl.

- "The Way I Feel Today" a song sung in the Prince Handsom scence about having the depression and wanting to "go to sleep within the dark and deep, and in my dreams ill stay, in dreams ill run away, and maybe i wont feel the way i feel today"

- and "Rapunzels Flower Song" where Rapunzel, too afraid to leave her tower, sings to her flower that has become one of her only friends, telling her, "we are safe here"

- The whole show seems to be heartbreaking, entertaining, and informative, at the same time.

- Learn more at www.macmh.org


Thanks for reading this slightly less than humorous entry, and Join the cause: POWER TO THE MONKEYS

Let Capin' Jack Teach Us

For this entry in my blug, I call upon a song from the Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End Soundtrack entitled "What Shall We Die For" and it got me thinking,

What shall we die for? What are we fighting for?

I've axed people about what their answer would be, and their answers were simply predictable, but thats ok. I think personally, i cant answer this easily. Im fighting everyday. Not in the literal sense, but striving to live another day. i think im fighting and dying for the sake of living. Let me repeat that in color, I'm fighting and dying for the sake of Living.

What are you fighting for? People fight for peace, justice, freedom, love, hate, revenge, life, death, pinneaples, and automatic toaster ovens. If someone were to answer said question, would that answer touch upon the way they are, they way they'll end, the way they will be?


RANDOM: Does anyone remember the tv show, Boy Meets World. hehe, FEEEENY

The Truth Comes Out, and Runs Into a Wall

I has a confessions to makes...

Tis true, I did laugh hysterically at the end of "Marley and Me". But I assure you I wasn't laughing at the fact that a dog died. Instead, I laughed because when i turned around, I saw 80 somethin' people crying their eyes out. Seriously folks, I dont get it, you allow people to be put to deathand unborn babies to be popped out and killed, but some dumb dog dies of natural reasons, and suddenly we all need a bottle of Prozac. You know that im not one to talk, i laugh at peoples death, but thats for other reasons that ill touch upon later in my blugging career, but i'm disgusted. I cannot fully describe what it is that irks me, but Marilyn Manson does. He/she/demon once said,

" The death of one is a tragedy, but death of a million is just a statistic."

Well, im off, feel free to debate me, (but dont master debate me, i cant handle it.) And Remember, In Soviet Russia, Cake bakes you!!!!

Question Mark (He'll steal your pencils!!)

So as I was watering my imaginary foliage, I decided that this Blug needed something...

French Fries?
Cinnamon?
Cocoa butter?
42 virgin souls?

No (Though I'm still waiting for my shipment of 42 virgin souls (I hate Fed-ex (I love excessive amounts of parentheses))) What this needs is a subject. Or does it? Well i figured I could just post funny quotes an such, but that's lameoooo (Not to mention absolutely evident, but no longer relevant.) Perhips (Not a spelling error, its a new word) I can axe myself a question, a deep meaningful question, and respond to it. I assure you, my CHILDREN, i shall still keep all the dry, yet delightfully witty humor in said posts. Thanks for reading!!!

Prince Alix

Winning the Begining

WARNING: THERE WILL BE SPELLING, GRAMMATICAL, HISTORICAL, AND INTENTIONAL ERRORS. SOME CONTENT MIGHT NOT BE SUITABLE FOR OVER REACTING CONSERVATIVES AND SEVERAL SPECIES OF LION. PROCEED WITH CAUTION

Wilkkomen to mien blogo. I'm easily influenced and should not be introduced to harmful chemicals or plants. For example, "everyone" was making a blog and I want to fit in (Yes, I do prove all of the DARE program to be correct.) The purpose of said blog is to spoil you minds and support the humor and lifestyle i call La Vie Ali. So sit back, enjoy, and comment.

Prince Alix